Lately I've been feeling extra full as my belly continues to grow! and my emotions are a lil wild. I have found that I am quite hardend...like my severly burned patients usually dont get to me. When I take care of patients I try to not get to know what kind of person they are before the accident. This helps me to stay detached. If I know how special then I become vulnerable and cant provide the best care but lately I struggle with feeling so sorry for them and struggle with the question of why did this tragedy happen? Why is the person suffering? and lately when I tell people I am a burn nurse and they say Oh how do you do that, I find myself asking yah? why am I doing this?
All this questioning leads me to my cousin Kim. Tears come easily when I think of Kim. She now appears sick, has no energy and her desire to be apart of the world is fading. She is angry and I dont blame her.....i find myself a lil angry. Im faced with tragedy everyday at work and even more saddness when I think of what Kim is facing.
But maybe these emotions are in a knot due to my lil one. Im usually not this sensitive and during these difficult emotions, I am so thankful to have the blessing of being pregnant! sooo thankful, like I dont deserve this lil gift Im about to receive! I cant wait till the baby is here! 13 more weeks to go :)
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